Every Day

Even though it is winter now every day is like it was before. I make it over to my parent's house to see how they are doing.

My mother is anxious and often desperate. A trail of phone calls precedes my visit there...I often feel that I do not get there soon enough.

This morning she slipped on a small rug and fell on her bottom.She is fine, but it shook her up and me as well. My husband rushed over to make sure she was okay.

Every day I call my mother.
Every day I help make supper.

Almost every day I help my mother change her diaper...It is so humbling to feel how the roles have changed.

Every day I wonder..How much longer will I have them?

every day I go see them.

Every Day Routine

I go to my parent's house every day just about. Yes, every day I make it over there about 3 or 4 o'clock. As usual my mother is sitting anxiously in the back yard awaiting my arrival. I am never early enough or on time. I feel guilty for being late, but am glad to have made it.
My dad is reading some magazine or newspaper. We talk. I fill my mother in on my day.
Then we usually take a ride.We beheld the golden sunset by the lake...a magnificent view...spectacular. It is often to Walgreen's Pharmacy to pick up a prescription, and get any number of items. Adult diapers, Ensure, vitamins, etc.I know most of the pharmacists there by name.
Then home for supper. My brother has fixed it. Tonight we had thin angel hair spaghetti, summer squash and small pizzas.
My mother is very anxious. After supper we sit on the couch watching obnoxious Wheel of Fortune. I hold her hand and often enfold her in my arms. Baby Emily, age eighty nine. Her memory has bigger holes in it lately. It bothers her and me.

Dad leans back into the couch watching TV or reading. I watch them. Then I say good bye and kiss them and hug them and kiss them again and drive off into the dark night.. It is very dark now...... I turn on the radio and let beautiful music carry me all the way home.

You'd wonder.

You'd wonder. Yes, you would wonder after all, after all these years...just how they keep on...and how you do as well.
There are lots of episodes to write about since summer ended.
We just turned back the clock. The long hours of darkness are here. Shadows slant sideways across the lawn in the late morning. I gather up what light there is in my hands and I remember. Not back across the years, or months...just the past few weeks..

I wish I had written every day...but this is enough...this...this moment...Now as darkness becomes our companion. I recall:

Emily selling books at the art crawl.
Emily's small stroke.
Dad's low pulse.
Dad to Regions.
The New Pacemaker.
Shalom Home.
Home Again.
No to the Vet's Home.
Everyday Challenges.